Monday, February 28, 2011


Revelation

Amidst my mindless t.v. watching, I realized something... There comes a time in a teenage girls life when she says to her mother..."There's just some things that are easier to talk to Dad about." As much as I want my daughters...3 of them!!!!... to run to their Daddy when things are rough or confusing in life, why not Mom? Why is it easier to talk to Dad? And when I take the time to go back a few years...holy cow is it 15 year back...I realize it's cuz Dad doesn't take things personally, and Dad can see things from a dude's point of view, and Dad can set his emotions aside to answer questions. Why is that so hard for Mom? Why does Mom internalize all the "drama"? I remember waiting until my Dad would tuck me in- even as a teen- to spill the beans. He would listen and he would know what to say. Mom would freak out if she knew I was thinking a certain way about a certain something...but Dad just expected it...it's like he knew it was coming. Could he remember back to when he was a boy and see it from that perspective? Or did he just feel what I was feeling because I am his daughter? I look at my husband...and I look at my daughters, and I see him seeing things that I don't always see...I see him EXPECTING sin, when I am foolishly surprised by it. I see them wanting his approval. I don't know if every daughter felt this way, but I know I had a Dad who listened, and cared, and knew what to say, and who emmulated the true Father's love and how it is lived out. Praise God for my Dad!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Regrets

I can remember driving the 25-30 mins. (depending on traffic) down Walden to Harlem to Mineral Springs, to Frank, to 161 Norman Ave.
I remember thinking that it was such a long trip. That I wish that they could only live closer. That I would just stay home since it would take such a long time to get there to visit. What a freakin' fool I was!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom, and Dad, and my brothers, I would do ANYTHING to have you only 25-30 mins away. I can't handle it anymore. It hurts soooo bad. I can't write it...I can't explain the pain involved. You are so far away and I can't do anything to get you back here. All I can do is think of what a fool I was for not jumping at the opportunity to see you every chance I had.