Sunday, December 14, 2008

And life stood still...

It seems to me that when a baby is born, life stands still for a few weeks. All you want to do is sit and stare at the miracle that is in your arms. I look at her and i think, I can't believe you were just inside of me. I can't believe you're here already. I can't believe God thinks i'm special enough to bless me with 2 little girls! Is my life always blissful and full of joy? No, but I am trying to cherish each moment with my children, to walk in the Spirit, and love them the way i should. I am so thankful that my daughters are healthy and that they have nothing physically wrong with them. That is somthing i think we take for granted much too often. On a lighter note...

These are the things that make my life hard sometimes:
*my 4 year old has about 100,000,000 words that she needs to get out in a day- most in the form of a question.
*my 4 year old wants to walk around the house holding my 2 week old, and doesn't understand why i won't let her.
*my hubby is aggravated that we cannot be as intimate as he would like for a few more weeks.
*seems like the thank you cards and christmas cards will never end!
*how many loads of laundry can a woman do in a day?
*i have become a pacifier...or my boobs have.
So that's my world right now- and despite the little hiccups- it's a great life!

I had thought that after the birth i would have a sort of "high" from doing things naturally- a huge feeling of accomplishment- having done something a lot of women never do- completely natural childbirth. But it hasn't come. I am proud of what i did, but it didn't effect me to the degree that i thought it would. I don't feel as if "i can do anything"- as i've heard some homebirth mothers say. I don't feel extra ambitious- like wanting to go back to school or start my own business...I have to say that more than anything I'm content. And for that i am so thankful. I think that it's a huge feat to give birth naturally and I wouldn't change anything about it- but I didn't do it to prove anything. I did it because I knew it was best for me and my baby. I am proud of it because I showed myself that i'm not a wimp, that i can handle it, that my body will do what it was created to do, the fact that other people get to see that there are people still having their babies at home is just a bonus for me. I hope the trend catches on, and i hope that i have in some way helped to eliminate some of the fear-based thinking our society has attached to birth.

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