Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pregnancy Thoughts

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that tomorrow is the day this baby is due. No one imagined that he or she would be inside me for this long. I feel very grateful to know that this baby is healthy and growing, and is going to be nice and pudgy when it comes out. I am so jumping out of my skin excited to meet them and hold their little hand and kiss their soft cheeks and watch them be completely satisfied at my breast.

Although my stomach is so huge, and my thighs are bigger than they've been in a looonng time, I have never felt more beautiful. My stomach is round and tight and smooth- there is no loose skin, there is no sagginess. My breasts are full and plump, ready to do their job. I am in awe of the miracle of life. The beautiful intimacy that God created to be shared between a husband and wife. I recently heard conception described as "a mommy and daddy's love for each other just spilling out and it makes a baby." What a sweet description for a child to grasp how it really is love.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by the family that I'm in. My husband is so attracted to me and my plumpness and he tells me daily. He is constantly touching my belly and telling this baby to "come out now!" He says how he can't wait to hold the naked baby with his shirt off and get that special skin on skin contact.

Hailey is so excited and has been the most amazing big sister and helper. Last night I was holding onto Peter's shoulders for support through a contraction (15 mins apart for over 4 hours- then nothin) and Hailey came over to us and he told her to go sit down and finish her cookie. She said, "But in the book, the Mommy is holding onto the Daddy and the little girl is rubbing the Mommy's back." It was sooo sweet and innocent and she truly wanted to be a part of that moment. The name of the book is "We're having a homebirth." Rebecca let me borrow it and the girls both love it. It has great pictures and it talks about the midwife coming to the house and how mommy makes lots of good noises like an elephant.

Trinity definitely knows that something is going on. She knows there's a baby in my belly, but I don't think she knows that it's coming out soon. She has been acting out and being nasty to her sister and I think it's just the tension in the air from our patience being stretched to the limit! She can be so funny when her sister isn't around. She really tries to entertain us, walking around with her tongue hanging out and waddling like a duck. She knows she's funny too which makes it even cuter!

I am struggling with feeling guilty for sending my kids off to people's houses while I try to rest and let my back rest. I have had such back pain and I think part of it is taking care of the girls and the house and the other part of it is the baby's positioning. I want to enjoy the last bit of time with Hailey and Trinity as my only two children- and I want to have one on one time with each of them, but I have to do what's best for everyone, and I am no good to anyone if I cannot move! I love when the girls cuddle up on what's left of my lap and I read to them.

Yesterday Peter juiced a TON of apples and it's the best apple juice you have ever tasted! It tastes a bit more like apple cider than apple juice- not at all like the juice you buy in the store- maybe more like the organic all natural juice, but i've never had that to compare it. While he did that, I made an apple pie as a "birthday cake" for the baby. I got out a huge bag of shoes for the girls and Hailey kept putting different shoes onto Trinity and then bringing her in to show us "how pretty." Trinity would just light up to hear us say, "Oh Trinity that's sooo pretty." Hailey would say, "ok, let's go get different shoes on." This went on for over a half hour. It was so sweet. I love it when they play together without fighting and I love to see how much they truly love each other.

It's amazing to me how God has continually met our needs. I am blessed beyond belief to have a church body who is so willing to help our family. Whether it's taking the girls, bringing us a huge box full of loaves of bread (my freezer is overflowing!) or bringing us meals, they are more than willing to meet a need when it exists. Also, my mother-in-law, what an amazing woman! God has given her the gift of being a servant. Knowing I can count on her for practically anything is such a blessing. I don't even have to ask most of the time she just offers or just does it. I hope someday I am able to take care of her and her needs like she has for me.

Despite the recent craziness of life, homeschooling is going surprisingly well. There have been 1 or 2 days that we have missed, but over all, I am really pleased with her progress and with all the new concepts she is grasping so quickly! She read a book to me yesterday- the whole thing- and was so proud of herself! I pray that things continue to go this well after baby arrives and my attention is demanded elsewhere.

I started reading "To Train Up a Child" again for some much needed refreshing. I am looking forward to some good training sessions! I have totally been depending on discipline and ignoring training. It was good to read and remember what the difference is, and how to be intentional in training- and keep the goal in mind- working toward Godliness (me and my kiddos!)

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